Pet Rock

My daughter brought home two rocks from science camp. 

Today, I told her that I used to have a rock for a pet. The look she gave me was reminiscent of the blank stare I used to get from my Pet Rock.

I went on to explain that he was grey, bald, and a little on the heavy side. 

Another blank stare.

She wasn’t buying it … until I showed her a photo (online), and the Care and Training booklet, which read in part: Congratulations! You are now the owner of a genuine, pedigreed Pet Rock. Your rock is a very sensitive pet. It takes most Pet Rocks exactly three days to acclimate themselves to their surroundings.

Personally, I found my rock to be a devoted and trusted companion. The training booklet also indicated that Pet Rocks are perfect for people who hate animals.

Yes, I realize hate is a strong word, but we’ve all been guilty of using it. Lest I remind you: he who is without sin cast the first stone (so long as it’s not your Pet Rock).

The booklet shared more facts about the rocks:
Gentle disposition
Eagerness to please
Profound sense of responsibility

And Tricks:
Stay
Roll over
Sit
Heel
Play Dead

I used to wonder if music producer, Pete Rock, had a Pet Rock. And if he did, would he reminisce over it?

I hadn’t thought about mine until today, when I read of the passing of its inventor and former Los Gatos resident, Gary Dahl — whose life rocked on to the age of 78.

RIP, Gary.

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